Tiens un truc marrant que j'ai trouvé, intitulé Matrix Revolutions in 5 minutes (attention spoiler et en anglais)

MAGGIE: Hey, Trinity, how are you?
TRINITY: Fine. How’s Neo?
NEO: I’m still unconscious.

NEO: Where am I?
INDIAN GUY: You’re in a subway.
NEO: Awesome. Gimmie a turkey and cheese on white.
INDIAN GUY: Thank you, come again!
LITTLE GIRL: I’m obnoxious!

ORACLE: Find the trainman.
MORPHEUS: Why are you different?
ORACLE: I made sacrifices.
MORPHEUS: So did the casting department it looks like.
ORACLE: Take Seraph with you. He’s cool and the audience likes him.
SERAPH: Hoooo. Sank you, Oracrew!
MORPHEUS: I liked the old Oracle better.

TRINITY: Look, there’s the Train Man! Let’s chase him!
TRINTY, MORPHEUS, & SERAPH: Chase, chase, chase, chase, chase!
TRAIN MAN: Run, run, run, run, run, escape!
TRINITY: He got away!
MORPHEUS: At least we had a little action to go along with all this exposition and set up.
NEO: Where’s my sandwich?

TRAIN MAN: You stay here!
NEO: But I don’t wanna!
TRAIN MAN: I smack you!
NEO: You’re mean!

TRINITY: I want my Neo back.
MEROVINGIAN: No!
TRINITY: I’m pointing a gun at you.
MEROVINGIAN: Okay, you can have him back.

TRINITY: Neo, you’re back!
NEO: Where’s my sandwich?

NEO: I have to see the Oracle.
TRINITY: Why?
NEO: Because I have to know why she looks different.

ORACLE: Hello, Neo, I will answer any question…
NEO: Why…
ORACLE: …as long as it doesn’t involve why I look different.
NEO: I’ll just leave.

ZION PERSON #1: Machines still coming?
ZION PERSON #2: Yep, we’re still screwed.

MORPHEUS: Hey, Niobe.
NIOBE: Hey, Morpheus. Wanna give my ship a jump so we can show the audience that handle starter-thingy that’ll be important later in the movie?
MORPHEUS: Yes.
TRINITY: Whoa, get a load of that sexual tension.
NEO: Sandwich?

ZION PERSON #1: Machines still coming?
ZION PERSON #2: Yep, we’re still screwed.

NEO: All right, you guys get back to Zion in that ship and Trinity and I will go to the machine city in this one.
CAP’N ASSHOLE: You can’t do that! I’m closed minded!
NEO: I’m crying.
NIOBE: Neo, take my ship, you pathetic man-woman.
TRINITY & NEO: Yay! We’re off to certain death!

KID: I’m scared!
OLD GUY: You’re too young!
KID: The machines are going to kill me too!
OLD GUY: Maybe the machines aren’t that bad after all.
KID: Yeah, I… HEY!

AGENT SMITH: Hello, Oracle, why do you look…?
ORACLE: Shut up and do that black tar thing.

ZION PERSON #1: Machines still coming?
ZION PERSON #2: Machines are here.
ZION: ARRRRRRRRGH! BANG, BANG, BANG! KA-BOOM! WAR CLICHÉ! WAR CLICHÉ!
ZION PERSON #1: Looks like World War II just started.

NIOBE: We have to sneak past these sentinels and get to Zion! They will come destroy us if they hear a sound!
MORPHEUS: Oops, I just farted.
NIOBE: Goddamnit! Now we have to escape through these tunnels that no one but I can pilot down!
CAP’N ASSHOLE: This is never going to work! You both suck! I have a small penis!

ZION: ARRRRRRRRGH! BANG, BANG, BANG! KA-BOOM! WAR CLICHÉ! WAR CLICHÉ!
BOY: I’m scared!

AGENT SMITH: Hey, Neo!
NEO: Are you here to give me my sandwich?
AGENT SMITH: I’m here to KILL YOU!
NEO: Ow, my eyes! You’re a dick!
AGENT SMITH: It’s inevitable, Mr. Anderson… I…
NEO: Why did the Oracle look different?
AGENT SMITH: I… I don’t know. Hey, how are you looking at me if your eyes are gone?
NEO: CLANG!
AGENT SMITH: Ow, my head! Urk!

MEROVINGIAN: You mean that little bit at the beginning was my whole scene? THIS BLOWS GOAT ASS!

NIOBE: The sentinels are coming after us! Quick, let’s rip off The Final Flight of the Osiris! That should save us!
MORPHEUS: They all died in that movie.
NIOBE: Shut up.
MORPHEUS: No.

TRINTIY: We’re on the surface!
NEO: Watch me blow up all the machines coming after us!
TRINITY: You didn’t get them all.
NEO: Shit. Fly up and maybe we’ll crash in the machine city.
TRINITY: Good idea. Oh, hey look! It’s the sun! This is a beautiful and poetic moment for me and that means I’m probably dead meat!
NEO: Meat? I never did get that sandwich.
TRINITY: We’re crashing.
NEO: Do that handle thing that Niobe showed everyone!
TRINITY: We started it! Now if we can just get the ship to pull u--
SHIP: CRASH!

OLD MAN: I’m dying, but it was very brave you coming out and reloading my kill-bot.
BOY: I’m scared.
OLD MAN: Shoot the chains so that Niobe’s ship can come in and we can have more special effects!
BOY: Okay! BANG!
DOG: Arf!
OLD MAN: What was that?
BOY: Nothing. BANG!
CAT: MEOW!
BOY: Shit!

NIOBE: One special effects sequence coming up!
SHIP: Crash!
EMP: BANG!
SENTINEL: BLORG!
CAP’N ASSHOLE: Mama!

TRINITY: Neo, I’m dying. There’s something I have to tell you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…
NEO: Like, just die all ready!
TRINITY: HURK!

CAP’N ASSHOLE: More sentinels are coming. Niobe, Morpheus… You two really screwed up thus invalidating your previous heroic actions. Let’s go hide!
MORPHEUS: Okay!
NIOBE: Cool.

MACHINE: Speak!
NEO: My sandwich. Is it here?
MACHINE: Shut up!
NEO: Smith has grown beyond your control. I can stop him.
MACHINE: What do I care? I was going to destroy the Matrix anyway, remember?
NEO: Shut up!
MACHINE: No, you shut up!
NEO: You shut up!

AGENT SMITH: Mr. Anderson, welcome back. We missed you.
NEO: It ends tonight.
AGENT SMITH: To keep the movie from getting too exciting, my clones are just going to watch, okay?
NEO: Cop out much?
AGENT SMITH & NEO: Fight, fight, fight, fight, punch, punch, punch, punch!
AGENT SMITH: I win!
NEO: Okay!
AGENT SMITH: I take you over!
NEO: Arrrrrrrgh!
AGENT SMITH: Hey, what the…? Aw, fu—
AGENT SMITHS: Explode, explode, explode, explode, explode, explode, explode, explode, explode, explode, explode, explode, explode, explode, explode, explode!

NIOBE: The sentinels are going away!
MORPHEUS: Neo did it!
NIOBE: Did what?
MORPHEUS: Who cares! Now I can have sex with you!
NIOBE & MORPHEUS: Yay!
MACHINE: It is done.
NEO: Hey, look! I’m Jesus! ACK!

LITTLE GIRL: I’m still obnoxious!
ORACLE: Hello, Architect.
ARCHITECT: Sup, baby. Care to explain what just happened?
ORCALE: Who cares!? If they sat through this much of the movie, they can’t ask for a refund! All that money is ours!
LITTLE GIRL: Will we ever see Neo again?
ARCHITECT: It depends on how hard up the Wachowski’s get, little girl.

THE END

C'est pas a mourir de rire mais y a des trucs sympas, mon préférés restant :
TRINITY: Neo, I’m dying. There’s something I have to tell you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…
NEO: Like, just die all ready!
TRINITY: HURK!

C'est trop vrai <_<